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The Moron's Way of Celebrating Earth Day
Earth Day is an international celebration that aims to remind humanity how bad he has been, he is and he will be. The humanity is nothing but a parasite of the world who destroys the Earth because of his will to live. Earth Day is never happy since people, who think they are not part of the humanity, blame other people for the getting-uglier Earth.

1. Morons join fun runs because they think if they joined the runs, they are able to make Earth a cooler place to live in. Here is their picture to treasure. They are seen here saving the world for running in this fun run created to save the dead Earth. What a shameful shame!




2. Morons join rallies against SM. Then the next day, they are spotted inside a SM mall shopping for clothes and availing of the SM advantage card. They think joining the rallie can plant two million trees. Morons think SM is a devil that ordered the cutting of all trees on Earth.

I've got a story for the Morons. 



Once upon a time,
there was a man named "Noah".
(This should not be associated with that ABS-CBN soap opera)

One day,
God told him.
"A flood will come!"

Noah asked God
"How will I save the humanity?"

God answered back
"Make a ship"

Noah asked again
"How can I save the humanity with that ship?"

A lovely woman got inside the bar.
Her name is Vice Ganda
She spoke in her horse-like voice
"Gaga, eh di ipasok mo sila sa ship 'pag dumating na yung baha"

Noah cut all the trees to make a ship.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
Cut.
And made the trees into a ship.
(Ask Noynoy how come trees are made into ships)

Loaded samples of species into the boat.
(Samples, yes)

Boy Abunda came in.
And named the ship not Titanic because it will not sink.
"Noah's Arc"

And when the rain came all the way from the heavens and hells
The world was flooded.
Flood.
Flood.
Flood.
Flood.
Flood.

PAGASA warned every specie.
"Alert level 1"
"Alert level 2"
"Alert level 3"
"Alert level 3. 5"
"Alert level to the highest level ever"

The world was drowned.
All was under water including Baguio City.


The end.

QUIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ:

Why was there flood?


Answer:
Because Noah cut all the trees. 
When it rained hard, 
no living tree roots were there to sip the rainwater.



Christian is a Marketing Communications practitioner currently working with Cathay Land. To get in touch, please shoot an email to [email protected]

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