If Kris Aquino wins presidency in 2016, all handsome men and smart women in both public and private sectors may commit suicide to give way to the smooth reign of the Queen of All Media-litics (new term for the combination of mass media and politics).

It is as hard as suffering from Loss Bowel Movement (LBM) comprehending the fact that the presidential sister has got the potential to run and win the country’s second highest position (the highest position belongs to boxer-singer-preacher-father-actor-host-philanthropist-senator Manny Pacquaio (not to be confused with Manny Pangilinan).



Why should Kris Aquino win in 2016? What is next for the country if she conquers Malacanang? Promise, she will make a better president than Jejomar Binay and Mar Roxas.

1.   Kris is a good person because she is an Aquino. All Aquino’s are born good people and servant of the country. Look at the President, he is a good person in and out. Just like her parents and brother, Kris has a genetically-acquired big heart to be a political and spiritual leader of this nation. The Filipino people trust all Aquino's. Look at Bam Aquino, he won a seat in Senate the first time he ran. Now, his name is to be found nowhere. Where is he after the public voted for him?

2.    Kris is tremendously rich (and a Bureau of Internal Revenue- certified honest-to-goodness taxpayer). She has commercially and critically successful movies, shows and ventures. She is a good business woman. Thus, she can manage the resources of this country well. She can even produce a reality show featuring the slums of Manila wherein all money extracted from the show will be used to pay the debts of the country. Remember, no poor person reaches Malacanang. Only the rich!

3.    Kris is considered by herself, not by Filipino people, as Oprah Winfrey of the Philippines. She has all the experience in life to teach to every Filipino struggling to have both ends meet. She has been to unsuccessful relationships and has two wonderful kids. She was once a victim of violence, had a miscarriage and did acquire Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) just like an ordinary Filipino living in Payatas. She knows almost everything about real life. And her life, including her sex life, is a consistent part of national headlines.



4.    "Kris Aquino" is a top Filipino brand. Even when she was young, she appeared on the front page of New York Times and Time Magazine. In movies, she is the "Massacre Queen" for her effective screaming and gestures when acting as a massacre victims. In real life, her heart has been massacred in relationships that ended in bitter notes.

5.    Kris is a college graduate. She finished a degree in English Literature. Everyone knows she is one of the smartest women in the whole world. This means she can be of great help in editing court orders, municipal announcements, board exam questions and other documents from the government that badly need extensive editing due to serious grammatical and technical errors.

6.    Kris has the credibility to invite Hollywood investors. She is a television personality known not only in the Philippines but also in other countries. She can talk to Steven Spielberg to director a movie that utilizes Filipino actors and Philippine locations. She can talk to Andrew Lloyd Weber to get over Evita and develop Cory the Musical.



7.    Kris has more than one million followers on Twitter. That is enough reason for us to vote for her.



8.    She has won many awards as a TV personality. She is an ultimate entertainer. When Yolanda comes back to visit other Philippine places, Kris would be glad to offer her entertainment value to bring hope and home to the victims. The country can capitalize on her talents and skills to keep the light burning.

9.    Boy Abunda is her best friend. That means a lot to the Filipino people. No further explanations needed.

10.  Kris just got a new hairdo as revenge to her recent love affair. And everyone seems to care. Well, I care because she is my ultimate idol as a TV personality and as a person!