Real Estate Marketer

99.99% Sagada Igorot

Working Ant in Ortigas

Brewed Coffee Addict

Very Personal Blogger

That Sad 2018 That Got Away

The four-day off for the New Year's holiday is all about the annoying rainy weather stopping me to go somewhere else. It literally controlled everything.

At nine in the evening yesterday, I booked a motor ride to join my young brother’s family in Caloocan in meeting the new year. We drank brandy and had a nice chat about our family back in Sagada- we both agreed our youngest has improved a lot and we're happy about it.

Yesterday I was browsing through social media posts and there is this one series of photos that interprets the behavior of people. Interestingly, I found one listed behavior that is quite observable in me.

I laugh easily, even at very simple things. According to the post, the behavior says I am lonely inside. Yeah, lonely inside.

Recently, I watched Relatable, a Netflix special featuring Ellen DeGeneres doing stand up. I had a very good laugh. I am also a bit obsessed with Vice Ganda; I watch his movies on iWant and clips on YouTube.

Are these symptoms of loneliness? I do not deny the fact that I have distanced myself from the world. I stopped traveling-- sleeping is my favorite hobby. I stopped attending events and parties. I stopped everything social. I even decided to stop blogging.



For the first five months of 2018, I continued working with the same company I've been with for three years. Basically both my pay and position were exemplary, but there were things I wanted to do but I could not with my working condition.

After many sessions with my boss, we agreed on a decision that it is better for me to go. As soon as I left the former workplace, I was already  found a new playground.

While doing medical check-ups, I was faced by my nightmare once again. Medical findings discovered that there were protein contents in my urine and further tests showed my kidneys were that of an old person.

I had to take medication for three months to see if I was coping. It was expensive so I had to sympathize with my broken wallet (hate me for that but I reached the point wherein I had no money to buy those costly meds).

Everyday as I take a pill, I would think of the possibility that my kidneys would fail leaving me dead. Everyday, I taught myself to get rid of stress and worries- as a favor to myself- to enjoy life because I will never know what's gonna happen in my life the next day.

If you've worked with me before, I am a dumb, forgetful person. And it takes a long time for me to master one thing. But once I am okay with the environment and I am familiar with the procedures, I offer the best heart as a team member (charot lang).

I can do many things as long as I do not deal with a person who is fond of shouting. Believe me, that is my only limitation. And believe me for saying I have practiced keeping calm but I ended up losing it.

Talking about death is pretty tough, but I have openly discussed this with my younger brothers and my mother. We never know. This year, I have lost two lovely persons. 

I can say I am indeed lonely inside. I am guilty of that. But this 2019 will have another version of life. 

Christian is a Marketing Communications practitioner in Quezon City. He is an Igorot from Sagada, Mountain Province. To get in touch with him, please shoot an email to [email protected]

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