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99.99% Sagada Igorot

Working Ant in Ortigas

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Deniece Cornejo- Vhong Navarro Dictionary 2014 Edition

Mind you, this is a satirical post. I do not intend to confuse your minds or pollute someone’s reputation. Read between the lines or else you get lost. I do track every development of this celebrity news-turned-national concern issue so I am able to come up with the following words:

          Noun: A self-proclaimed motivational speaker

Sentence: The Deniecian has arrived to talk about success in online shopping and acting as an extra on TV.

Noun: An invitation to go to someone’s condominium unit not later than 10PM wherein the guest brings food and the host forgets that he/she invited the guest

Sentence: She was surprised that her friend came to her place for denier but fascinated to see a bottle of white wine.

          Noun: A man who can rape a woman in about or less than 3 minutes

Sentence: Khuya was transported to the police station after the victim’s friends found him on top of her.

          Adjective: The pitiful state of having been tortured

          Sentence: I cried when I visited my navarrised friend.

          Adverb: Mistakenly or erroneously

          Sentence: The woman vhongly partied after the rape incident.

Adjective: The state of having the support of 99% of the people of the Philippines

Sentence: His vhonggacious battle against his foe led him to get more acting roles.

Verb: The act of citizen arresting and torturing an alleged criminal
Sentence: Tell your friend to cedricize the suspect then ask the suspect for money.

          Adverb: To do something with the help of an expert martial artist

          Sentence: We are brave because we can harm him cedricklee.

          Adjective: Grateful expression of having a good lawyer in your defense

Sentence:  I am so fortun-atelee because I was encouraged by a good lawyer who loves representing underdogs.

Noun: A machine that tells whether a rape victim was giving the right reaction after the incident or not, with the help of the mirror of an elevator

Sentence: The CCTV is not convinced that the woman was harmed.

Jessica Sohology
Noun: The belief that both the parties- victim and the suspect- give the same version of the story.

Sentence: People got angry because of the Jessica Sohology point of view of the news woman causing netizens to continue the hate hashtag directed at the woman’s home network.


Christian is a Marketing Communications practitioner in Quezon City. He is an Igorot from Sagada, Mountain Province. To get in touch with him, please shoot an email to christianaligonow@gmail.com.

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