Kris Aquino for President in 2016 (Not Binay, Not Mar)
If Kris Aquino wins presidency in 2016, all handsome men
and smart women in both public and private sectors may commit suicide to give
way to the smooth reign of the Queen of All Media-litics (new term for the combination of mass media and politics).
It is as hard as suffering from Loss Bowel Movement (LBM) comprehending the fact that the presidential sister has got the potential to run and win the country’s
second highest position (the highest position belongs to boxer-singer-preacher-father-actor-host-philanthropist-senator
Manny Pacquaio (not to be confused with Manny Pangilinan).
Why should Kris Aquino win in 2016? What is next for the
country if she conquers Malacanang? Promise, she will make a better president than
Jejomar Binay and Mar Roxas.
1. Kris is a good person because she is an Aquino. All Aquino’s are born good people
and servant of the country. Look at the President, he is a good person in and
out. Just like her parents and brother, Kris has a genetically-acquired big heart to be a
political and spiritual leader of this nation. The Filipino people trust all
Aquino's. Look at Bam Aquino, he won a seat in Senate the first time he ran. Now, his name is to be
found nowhere. Where is he after the public voted for him?
2. Kris
is tremendously rich (and a Bureau of Internal Revenue- certified honest-to-goodness taxpayer).
She has commercially and critically successful movies, shows and ventures. She is a good
business woman. Thus, she can manage the resources of this country well. She
can even produce a reality show featuring the slums of Manila wherein all money
extracted from the show will be used to pay the debts of the country. Remember,
no poor person reaches Malacanang. Only the rich!
3. Kris
is considered by herself, not by Filipino people, as Oprah Winfrey of the Philippines.
She has all the experience in life to teach to every Filipino struggling to
have both ends meet. She has been to unsuccessful relationships and has two
wonderful kids. She was once a victim of violence, had a miscarriage and did
acquire Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) just like an ordinary Filipino living in Payatas. She knows almost everything about real life. And her life, including her sex life, is a consistent part of
national headlines.
4. "Kris Aquino" is a top Filipino brand. Even when she was young, she appeared on the front page of
New York Times and Time Magazine. In movies, she is the "Massacre Queen" for her
effective screaming and gestures when acting as a massacre victims. In real life, her heart has been
massacred in relationships that ended in bitter notes.
5. Kris
is a college graduate. She finished a degree in English Literature. Everyone knows she is one of the smartest women in the whole world. This means
she can be of great help in editing court orders, municipal announcements,
board exam questions and other documents from the government that badly need
extensive editing due to serious grammatical and technical errors.
6. Kris
has the credibility to invite Hollywood investors. She is a television
personality known not only in the Philippines but also in other countries. She
can talk to Steven Spielberg to director a movie that utilizes Filipino actors
and Philippine locations. She can talk to Andrew Lloyd Weber to get over Evita
and develop Cory the Musical.
7. Kris
has more than one million followers on Twitter. That is enough reason for us to
vote for her.
8. She
has won many awards as a TV personality. She is an ultimate entertainer. When
Yolanda comes back to visit other Philippine places, Kris would be glad to
offer her entertainment value to bring hope and home to the victims. The country
can capitalize on her talents and skills to keep the light burning.
9. Boy
Abunda is her best friend. That means a lot to the Filipino people. No further
explanations needed.
10. Kris just got a new hairdo as revenge to her recent love affair. And everyone seems to care. Well, I care because she is my ultimate idol as a TV personality and as a person!
She still acts like she's in a massacre movie.
ReplyDeleteWell, Kris will always be Kris.
DeleteEhh di wow !
ReplyDeletesomebody kill me!!!!
ReplyDelete