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10 Reasons Why Bong Revilla Makes A Good Perrrrsident
With a fear that Bong Revilla would run and win the next presidential election, other perrrsidentiables collided to get him out of the race.

That’s what Bong thinks of the popular arrest. His theory is well-received by............Kap's Amazing Stories.

Unlike him, we think that he is simply guilty of stealing money from taxpayers. Clearly, his pork barrel scam involvement is true.

But upon entering his new world that is full of cockroaches, rats and other animals like him, news reports prove that he just got more fans who could actually vote for him to be the next BS Aquino.

Here are the reasons why Bong makes a good perrrrsident:

1.    Bong knows everything about life after getting in to different trades. He is a fine Filipino actor who has starred in many movies. He presents a program being watched by both kids and adults. He has a successful career in politics. He is a family man. He is a lover. He is everything. He is BS as well.

2.    Just like BS Aquino, Bong changed his name from Jose Marie Mortel Bautista to Bong Revilla. See the pattern? I wanna change my name too to pursue my Malacanang Dream too.

3.   Bong finished his secondary education in the US. That makes him a genius, another evil genius. Sorry Kris Aquino, you did not finish anything in the US so you are not a genius.

4.     Bong is genuinely famous on TV and in movies. He is everyone’s superhero. This makes him a symbolic king when he reigns as the perrrrsident. In fact when he ran in 2004, he was the top 2 winning candidate.

5.    Bong comes from a family of politicians. This is good for the Filipino people because political excellence is genetic in the Philippines. When you’re not part of any of the known "political" families, sorry you will never become a good leader. He is the son of former Senator Ramon Revilla. His older brother Stroke Revilla is the incumbent mayor of Bacoor, Cavite.

6.   Bong is very honest. He admitted that BS Aquino, Budget Secre-Taray Butch Abad and Mar Roxas have spoken to him to convict the then Chief Justice Renato Corona. Honestly is next to Godliness.

7.     Bongis a religious man. When he was arrested for his involvement in the pork barrel scam, he wore a shirt quoting God. God must have been disappointed after Bong wore the shit without His permission. When the 7,100 islands of the country will get lost, he will be saved.

8.    Bong would have been the star of Ang Sugo: The Last Messenger the movie produced by Iglesia ni Cristo to portray the life of their founder Eduardo Manalo. Well unfortunately, unfortunate events unfortunately happens.

9.    Bong is making moves to make Philippine prison a five-star hotel. He has requested for some fan. For sure, he will be getting a maid inside his cell- a maid who also sells condo units. All prisoners will vote for him for these efforts. 

10.   Bong dreamed of this. In the Philippines, dreaming is attaining. Just dream and God will do the rest.

And some final note from Manila Speak:

Christian is a Marketing Communications practitioner in Quezon City. He is an Igorot from Sagada, Mountain Province. To get in touch with him, please shoot an email to christianaligonow@gmail.com.


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